I'm lucky to have found Monsieur Gourmand at the tender age of 21; it saved me years and years of dull dates like the one endured by the poor girl on the next table at Au Parc in Montreux.
As her beau's musculation monologue ensued, she barely said a word, dutifully trying to look transfixed as he talked her through every muscle group and sinew. I wondered whether she was thinking the same as me behind her glazed-over eyes: he doesn't look very buff.
Fortunately I had my own piece of meat to concentrate on in the form of veal saltimbocca. Three big slices topped generously with prosciutto and sage were quite enough to quell my hunger, while the vegetables on the side were pleasingly crunchy. Monsieur Gourmand wanted something hearty to prepare him for our weekend skiing, so he went for fagottini with a creamy black truffle sauce, which turned out to be sensational.
Beyond muscle man and his long-suffering squeeze, we saw several groups of what looked like locals sharing big woodfire pizzas and quaffing red wine. This is obviously a popular place and deservedly so - the food is reliable tasty Italian, the atmosphere is buzzing and there's even service with a smile.
Still, I suspect our friend on the next table will always remember it with a yawn.
Au Parc, Grand Rue 38, 1820 Montreux
+41 (0)21 963 3157; www.au-parc.com
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