The icing on the cake

Christmas turkey and chipolata sausages. Roast pork and crackling. Strawberries and cream. Sometimes the trimmings are the best bit, which is obviously an idea ascribed to by the owner of Auberge de Dully.

The choice of main course at this cosy village haunt is between chicken and lamb. The plump birds turning on the spit as you enter the dining room (which has a great view by day apparently) certainly look enticing, and ours tasted fine, but chicken is chicken and rarely remains in the memory for long. A big fan of lamb with its tangy flavour and tender texture, I wanted to try that too. Again, it was fine but nothing to write home about.

Lucky then that the uninspiring specialities are backed up by amazingly crispy potato rösti and an enormous, deliciously dressed green salad. The starters are tasty too; we opted for vegetable crudités with home-made dips and a generous helping of juicy stuffed tomatoes.

But the proverbial icing on the cake is undoubtedly the locally revered house dessert: warm shortcrust cream pie. The wafer-thin, pizza-like pie is moreishly milky and so light we almost ordered two. Just steer clear of the whipped cream (unless, for you, that is the best bit).

Auberge de Dully, 9 Place du Village, Dully, Vaud
+44 (0)21 824 1149; www.aubergedully.ch

Full-whack fungi

At the end of 2011, jaded by the bright lights of the scintillating metropolis that is Geneva, Monsieur Gourmand and I decamped to Canton Vaud. While this means a month's worth of form filling and jumping through hoops, higher rent payments and a silly weekday commute, it is balanced out by a breathtaking view (no hyperbole here — we can see Geneva, Lausanne, the lake and Mont Blanc from our living room) and, equally importantly, a fair few village auberges to discover.

Unperturbed by the landlady's straggly hairstyle, we felt we should try our local Auberge de Trélex before any others. What's more, we can walk there so there's no holding back on the wine.

More popular with long-time villagers than international types, the auberge's other diners eyed our city folk suits and suede boots with suspicion as we took in our surroundings. With not an antler, corn dolly or candle in sight, the interior has a charmless train-like quality, the tables arranged along the sides of the room and handy plug sockets in the walls, should you feel like writing an email mid-steak.

We placed our orders with the world-weary waitress, Monsieur Gourmand choosing a deliciously winey fondue with soft brownish bread, while I knew right away that I fancied a fillet steak. Asked if I wanted a sauce, I thought yes, a creamy sauce de morilles would be just lovely. I must admit, the steak was very tender and tasty, and it seemed such good value at only 35 Francs (the grumpy hag had failed to mention the sauce would cost another nine on top).

Convenient it may be and the food is not bad, but the saucy rip-off and less than warm welcome won't keep us coming back.

Auberge de Trélex, Place de la Tour 4, 1270 Trélex, Vaud
+41 (0)22 369 2355; www.aubergedetrelex.ch

Amiable ambience

Tucked away on a cobbled street in the centre of town, Fifty-Fifty is always full (of men mostly), everyone looking jolly and jovial.

Could it be that they do the best pizza in town? Or is it a pizza-serving Swiss equivalent of a masons' lodge? We found the answer to be no on both counts, but it’s definitely worth a visit.

Our friend had what looked like penne with Chantilly cream, but turned about to be a herby, cheesy sauce that melted pleasingly into the pasta. Monsieur Gourmand and I both had pizza, his with Parma ham, buffalo mozzarella and fresh cherry tomatoes, mine with tuna and onions (a flavour I am rediscovering after an extended period of Napoletana-liking).

Mid-meal we were surprised to see the gregarious, gravel-voiced manager put on his coat and disappear through the door for a fag with the only other member of restaurant staff, leaving us and the other few customers to fend for ourselves. This would never happen in a more crime-accustomed country; we could have locked him out, stormed the kitchen and overpowered the pizzaiolo, for goodness' sake.
This must be what makes Fifty-Fifty so perennially popular; it feels more like a club than a restaurant, where newcomers are just as welcome as regulars.

After our tasty mains we shared a dessert. Masquerading as innocent lemon sorbet, it had actually been doused in vodka by the aforementioned man, a fiery finale to warm us for the wintery night outside.

Fifty-Fifty, 7 Rue Neuve du Molard, 1204 Geneva
+44 (0)22 310 2698

One bite in Bangkok

If you thought Enrique Iglesias videos were dramatic, you should see what Thai pop has to offer. The lyrics are a mystery to non-Thai speakers, but somehow amputated legs, bullet wounds and broken hearts seem at odds with the happy-sounding songs.

These cinematic musical masterpieces can be seen at Jame’s Pub in Pâquis, a misleadingly named Thai restaurant-cum-karaoke bar where Thai expats come to sing their hearts out with near-professional aplomb. 

Monsieur Gourmand and I came for the tom yum soup and spicy papaya salad, both of which had been highly recommended by a friend. He wasn’t wrong – both these dishes, as well as the red curry and delicious dumplings, were flavoursome and warming.

Served by a cheeky waitress making innuendos about bananas and beer froth, and cooked by a slinky dress-wearing lady chef, Jame’s Pub is great value, highly unusual and outrageously entertaining.


Jame's Pub, 64 Rue de Monthoux, Pâquis 
022 731 6310

Butter rivals

Café de Paris had almost enticed us in the past but we were always put off by the nasty station location, sandwiched between a kebab shop and McDonalds. Besides, surely it's not possible that another eaterie could match the tender meat, fiendish frites and sinful green buttery sauce served at Relais de l'Entrecôte?

When we found ourselves on that side of the lake one evening recently we decided to give it a go.

It didn't start well: the salad was without walnuts and the dressing was forgettable. Then the chips arrived on their own.
But things soon started looking up as the waiter set up a stove on our table and our house wine turned out to be a whole litre. At only 35 francs, that’s a good deal (by Geneva standards anyway).

Then the platter of beef arrived, so rare it looked like it had barely touched a pan, embedded in still-solid buttery sauce. Monsieur Gourmand devoured his in a flash regardless; I was more patient, waiting for the butter to melt around my meat.

As with its Rive Gauche rival, sauce is key to Café de Paris' long-lasting success. It was delicious indeed, but not downright addictive like that at Entrecôte. That said, the prices are rather more palatable and you can eat in unhurried peace, making it more than a worthy alternative.

Café de Paris, 26 rue du Mont-Blanc, Cornavin
+41 (0)22 732 8450; www.cafe-de-paris.ch

Battle of the bulge

Only men mired in the misery of the cold Crimean war - or perhaps Elvis Presley - would have dared dream up something as fiendish as fried cheese balls. While fighting for the French in the battle of Malakoff, it was indeed a group of hungry Swiss soldiers that created the dish of the same name and brought it back home to Vaud... where they found it fitted in very nicely with other hearty Swiss staples such as fondue and cured meat.

These days, the soldiers' story is seldom told, but their “Malakoff” lives on in the Vaud countryside at the Auberge de Luins.

Some like their Malakoffs as a main after a plate of viande sechée and the requisite pickles, but we had them as a starter with a big salad to share. Expecting the cheese to seep out when I pierced it with my knife, I was surprised to find it wasn’t runny, but more congealed and chewy with the cheese absorbed into the bready base. Though undeniably delicious, the Malakoff's fried crust detracted from the flavour of the wine-soaked Gruyère, failing (in my view) to match the melted decadence of a good fondue.

This was followed by a juicy rare rump steak for me and some seasonal venison for Monsieur Gourmand with root vegetables and a deliciously tangy sauce. Both were good, but here the Malakoff is king.

Auberge de Luins, Luins, Vaud
+41 (0)21 824 1159; www.aubergedeluins.ch

Walk to the wild side

Ever since I happily tucked into a spicy enchilada in Austin, Texas at the age of 7, I’ve been adventurous with food. Not long after that, I experimented with sucking out prawns’ brains at the home of a Chinese family friend and in my late teens I sampled spit-roasted guinea pig in Peru.

Geneva’s most interesting ethnic restaurants – serving Ethiopian, Korean and even Filipino fare – are virtually all in Pâquis, but we hardly ever go there because Monsieur Gourmand can’t face crossing the Mont Blanc bridge. It’s not far; just a boring walk. And in the winter the bitter “Bise” wind batters you every step of the way along the wobbly footpath.

But this is early September with no wind to speak of, so I seized the opportunity to suggest something other than the usual steak and frites in the Old Town. We wandered up to Kirin on rue de Neuchâtel and made ourselves comfortable at one of the pavement tables, taking in the lively atmosphere of prostitutes and Persian rug shops.

Neither of us an expert on Japanese food, we started with a fresh and filling sushi platter as well as some gyoza dumplings. Monsieur Gourmand is the doyen of dumplings and he was most impressed with these ones, which were crispy and crumbly all at once and deliciously seasoned. His main course of crispy shredded beef was sweet, but not too syrupy, and much meatier than those I’ve tried before. Geneva’s Chinese restaurants certainly have a lot to learn.

Although my Teriyaki salmon was tender and tasty, it was perhaps too safe a bet in a restaurant that clearly knows its eel from its octopus. I have since resolved to make more of an effort to test my plucky palate of old. Chilled monkey brain anyone?

 Kirin, 4 rue de Neuchâtel, Pâquis
+41 (0)22 738 1288; www.kirin-sushi.com