Tip rip off

It started well at La Plancha, where I had long yearned to dine under the awnings on a sultry summer night, amid the bustle of Place des Eaux-Vives.

The seemingly friendly and attentive waiter brought us some crusty bread in what looked like an upside down hat and an adorable sack of flaky fleur de sel. But then came the first sign of trouble. They didn't have the wine we wanted so the waiter suggested another. Naturally, it was three times the price. Nice try, scumbag!

When our starter platter of viande sechée arrived, our crafty server muttered something about the cheese coming soon. Cheese? What cheese? Oh, of course, the cheese on my cheeseburger, i.e. my main course, which came one minute later. One minute too late to realise what they had done and cancel the now unnecessary starter...

Grudgingly, I must concede that the burger was juicy and flavoursome, served with red onion, melted cheese, a rather measly rasher of bacon hidden behind the top half of the bun, and tasty frites. But Monsieur Gourmand's steak was disappointingly dull and not seignant by anyone's standards.

The wily waiter tried to hurry us along by repeatedly filling our already full glasses, which only made the wine warm up in the balmy evening air. In a final attempt to fleece us, he suggested we might like to add a tip. Even if they weren't already included in Swiss restaurant bills, which they are, it would have been an empty saucer for this guileful garçon.

La Plancha, 2 Place des Eaux-Vives, 1207 Geneva

+41 (0)22 735 2250; www.laplancha.ch

Buffalo brill

Many a rural English pub has turned Thai in recent years, forcing those with traditional tastes to traipse to the next county in search of some roast pheasant or Dover sole. I imagine the countryside Swiss are similarly peeved at their village auberges going all Italian, charging the earth for a veal escalope and shunning credit cards.

While this is a familiar tale in many of Geneva's surrounding villages, not so in Collex-Bossy where the Auberge serves up juicy bison steaks fresh from the local herd and pinot noir from just down the road. What's more, the service is efficient and smily (unless you order something other than bison, in which case you are darted a disbelieving glare and treated like a fool for the rest of your meal).

 

But there is little reason why anyone wouldn't want bison: the meat is lower in fat, calories and cholesterol than beef and is tasty and tender to boot. And the enormous bison head mounted on the wall implores sentimental meat eaters not to let the cuddly cattle die in vain.

 

I'm not normally a fan of mashed potato because I find it too heavy, but the version served here was so light and wispy that I guiltlessly ate the lot. Having started with only a green salad with a subtle honey dressing, I finished my meal feeling virtuous and thrilled to have discovered the delights of bison meat.

 

With its warm and welcoming atmosphere, I think Monsieur Gourmand and I will be back for some wintery feasts of lean bison, hearty red wine and oozy chocolate fondant. But that's months away. Suddenly something Italian takes my fancy...

Auberge de Collex-Bossy, 195 route de Collex, 1239 Collex-Bossy
+41 (0)22 774 1515; http://www.aubergecollex-bossy.com