Truckers' delight

Many mysteries surround Le Petit Moulin, like why the car park is always full, who frequents the adjoining nightclub, and why there might be such an extravagant design feature in an otherwise unremarkable room.
 
What we do know is that the upstairs hotel is popular with truckers who revel in the opportunity to not sleep in their cab for the night and have a nice hot shower (even if the bathroom is shared). Do they venture into the nightclub after a bite to eat, I wonder, and eye up the tartily dressed local girls before brawling with said girls' souped-up hatchback driving boyfriends?

This is always the topic of conversation for me and Monsieur Gourmand when we pay one of our regular visits to this pleasing pizzeria.

You can usually take your pick of tables, whether it's by the window looking at the field of horses, by one of the TVs showing live sport, or under the wild stripy column which forms the centrepiece of the restaurant (and is proudly featured on the website). 

The pizzas (fresh from the woodfire oven, no less) are not bad at all and there is even a premium selection featuring D.O.P. mozzarella, truffles and prosciutto di Parma. Meaty mains include entrecote steak, grilled veal and even game when it's in season, complete with traditional spatzli and chestnuts.

So the food's pretty good, the service is unsnooty (a rarity round here, believe me) and you can park without driving round and round the block for half an hour. The popularity of Le Petit Moulin is not such a mystery after all. 

Le Petit Moulin, Route Blanche, 1274 Grens
+41 (0)22 990 0740; www.lepetitmoulin.ch

 

Young meat

Geneva and Lausanne are only 70km apart, both on the shores of the lake with magnificent mountain views.

But Lausanne's architecture is more Montreux-style Swiss riviera, it's a fair bit hillier and definitely colder. And, unlike Geneva's bankers, diplomats and expat families, Lausanne seems to be largely populated by students and singletons. 

Our most recent visit took us to Happy Days, a warm and woody bar and restaurant famed for its burgers.

The waitress's corseted look should have given us a clue to the nature of this place but we dismissed it as a Halloween costume (far too sexy, you see). But by the end of the night, young long-legged ladies were strutting along the bar to the sound of "You Can Leave Your Hat On", a sight I wouldn't have expected in Suisse Romande.

 

Before all that happened, we had some excellent burgers, which easily outdid any I've had in Geneva (sorry, Road Runner). I can never resist anything with the word "Mexican", so I had one with guacamole and chilli, while the other four all had the American with bacon and cheese. The meat was seasoned and cooked to perfection and served with a choice of salad (no coleslaw here, a real salad with balsamic dressing) or a very generous helping of fries.

Then off we went to a Halloween party where, fittingly for youthful Lausanne, Monsieur Gourmand was the oldest person there.

Happy Days, Rue Saint-Pierre 3, 1003 Lausanne
+41 (0)21 324 0606; www.myhappydays.ch
 

Good imitation

How much would a small diner in the Geneva suburbs have to pay Warner Bros. to use the image of one of their cartoon characters, Monsieur Gourmand and I pondered as we chomped into our tasty burgers at Road Runner. Too much, it would seem, as they have created their very own cartoon bird to sit alongside the red neon logo, which, to an untrained eye, looks just the same.

The same philosophy applies to the food: the first bite reveals a juiciness that could be a real, genuine, American burger. It's flavoursome, it comes in a nice sesame bun, there are gherkins and onions, fries on the side and even coleslaw.

Diners can choose from such tempting options as the Texan (cheese and bacon), Mexican (with chilli and nachos), French (with tomato and herbs) or just keep it simple with cheese. There's no New York style low-carb burger wrapped in a lettuce leaf, but I doubt this would catch on in bread-loving Switzerland where everyone is effortlessly thin despite a diet of cheese and chocolate.

The key difference between the burgers here and those at a Stateside burger joint is the size. Monsieur Gourmand was still peckish after his Texan so ate my remaining fries, while I allowed myself a chocolate Mr Whippee after my delicious but not very filling cheese burger. 

But big doesn't necessarily mean good and this is the best burger I've had in Geneva (apart from L'Armoire which no longer exists) and deserves to have survived 40 years. That's got to be nearly as long as the Road Runner himself?

Road Runner, 63 route de Chene, 1208 Geneve
+41 (0)22 735 6420; www.roadrunner-restaurant.ch

Chinese reserve

Much like the cars outside and the ladies of the night inside, the food at Tse Fung, La Reserve's Chinese restaurant, is exotic, ravishing and expensive.

All that's lacking is a little imagination. The menu sticks to a standard formula with classics including sesame prawn toast and spring rolls, crispy duck with hoi sin sauce, followed by chicken, seafood or beef with cashew, Szechuan and sweet and sour sauces. All are expertly prepared and superbly served by a team of charming staff. 

In pricier places, I like them to show you what they do best so we ordered one of the four degustation menus, all named after appropriately expensive gemstones.

Our Emerald option started with some five spice squid, unfortunately served at the same time as the duck roll and steamed dumplings - at the most chichi Chinese in town I would have expected it to have been a bit more drawn out. None of these starters stick in the memory and I've definitely had better dumplings in Paquis.

Moving on to the mains, we were presented with caramelised beef, chicken in black bean sauce and spicy sole fillets. Of these, the fish was the stand-out dish: delicate and flavoursome without being overpowered by the spice.

Something sweet from the dessert menu - chocolate spring rolls perhaps - would have made a fiendish finale but we were both quite stuffed by this point. Besides, they were generous with the petits fours that came with Monsieur Gourmand's espresso.  

With sumptuous surroundings, lavish service and long-legged clientele, Tse Fung is a favourite for special occasions but disappointingly unextraordinary.

Le Tse Fung, La Rserve, 301 route de Lausanne, 1293 Bellevue
+41 (0)22 959 5959; www.lareserve.ch

Village fare

One of the problems with living abroad is that you discover how insular the British are, always Swiss-bashing (because us Brits are never unfriendly or petty, are we?) and refusing to even try to speak a few words of French.

That said, I must admit to visiting Jim's British Market once in a while for some Twiglets or a Twirl and I may have once bemoaned the lack of houmous and sausages in Swiss supermarkets. And of course it's always nice to discover a place that reminds you of home.

From the warm welcome of the vivacious middle-aged owners to the blackboard menu and country chic interiors, Auberge des Trois Tilleuls could so easily be a Cotswold village pub (now that they're all serving posh nosh of course). The food is very much meaty country fare, with some local lake fish thrown in, occasionally with an exotic flourish of ginger or lime.

I tried the balotine of féra which, once I got past the cylindrical snake-shaped presentation, turned out to be a herby, hearty choice. Monsieur Gourmand went for the slightly over-the-top house speciality - filet de boeuf "canaille" - a sort of tartar sandwich with two steaks as the "bread". It was very rich, to the extent that he couldn't contemplate dessert, but excellent in the extreme.

Whipping along the rainy country roads on our way back home, we again drew the English parallels. But then, between dodging a hedgehog and veering clear of a weasel, we remarked on the 12 francs they charged for a bottle of water. Only in Switzerland...

Auberge des Trois Tilleuls, Place du Village, 1272 Genolier
+41 (0)22 366 0531; www.troistilleuls.ch

Unpleasant moon

The fact that the online reviews of Hong Moon look suspiciously like they've been written by the staff should have told us something.

But we are always on the hunt for good Chinese food and have often wondered whether this restaurant on the ground floor of a grim concrete tower block might be a hidden gem.

Well, it's not. Glutenous dumplings and slimy grey mystery meat that was supposed to be chicken are the overriding memories.

I should say that Monsieur Gourmand did enjoy his Szechuan beef. But, to be fair, he was very hungry. 

It rather reminded me of an equally vile Chinese restaurant, 
Jacky Wei.

Hong Moon, Route de Sauverny 1, 1290 Versoix
+41 (0)22 755 1926

Fishy flirtation

Monsieur Gourmand has a strange relationship with fish. On one hand, he can’t shake the childhood memories of picking tiny bones out of his teeth and peeling flesh off slimy skin, while the mere mention of prawns (bugs of the sea) sends shivers down his spine.

On the other hand, he has always loved octopus and bemoans the fact that he hasn't mastered the art of grilling tender tentacles. Once in a while he even fancies some sashimi salmon or tuna, and he's become quite partial to filets de perche, the local lake fish.

Our recent visit to the balmy terrace of the Auberge de Crassier only enhanced his newfound liking for the lake's bounty. His filets de perche were fresh, unusually large, skinless and served with delicious skinny frites. I went for the other lake fish — filet de féra — which was tangily seasoned with lemon and herbs and served with a bowl of (a bit too salty) basmati rice.

We shared a trio of desserts — profiteroles, crème brulée and vodka-soaked lemon sorbet — and thought about when we might return to this excellent auberge to try the rest of the menu. The bison steak and flambéed brochettes of lamb, chicken or beef all looked amazing, although seared giant prawns might still be a step too far for Monsieur Gourmand.

Auberge de Crassier, Route de la Rippe 6, 1263 Crassier
+41 (0)22 367 1201

Medieval meat

Like a hairdresser with a wonky haircut, surely it speaks volumes about a restaurant's food when the staff are super skinny? Not so in the case of Restaurant du Moulin, where it seems to have more to do with the whippet-thin waitress in question being run off her feet all day long (yes, it's open all day) carrying plates of amazing meaty feasts.

Another misconception is the curious "botato". I'm sure many an English-speaking customer has left thinking this is a Swiss misspelling of the spud when in fact it's a hearty local sausage, which can be enjoyed hot or cold, as a starter or main.

The menu offers juicy steaks, racks of lamb and rognons de veau (love or hate the latter), but adventurous eaters should try a more dramatic dish. Resembling a medieval torture device, the ominously named "potence" (gallows) consists of chunks of beef mounted on spikes protruding from a hanging iron ball, which are then flambéed in cognac at the table. There are five sauces to be sampled on the side and the boozy juices don't go to waste either, dripping onto a generous bowl of new potatoes.

The cosy cave-like interior and valley setting, complete with roaring river, only encourage meat-eating and wine-guzzling galore. You might as well go the whole hog and have the presumptuously named "unavoidable" chocolate fondant.  

Restaurant du Moulin, 2 rue de la Cézille, 1268 Begnins
+41 (0)22 366 1168; www.cezille.ch

La Reserve at last

Monsieur Gourmand and I will be eating at Le Loti this evening, La Reserve's very fancy French restaurant. A big piece of juicy cod might be on the menu...

The best tourist trap in town

You could be forgiven for thinking Le Léman is just another tourist trap serving up mediocre meals to non-foodie fools. After all, the lakefront location, the al fresco tables under a stripey awning, and the unspecialised menu of fondue, steak, pizza, and anything else that might take your fancy, all spell disaster.

 

So Monsieur Gourmand and I were quite surprised to find that the food is good and the service even better. Well, fancy that. 


On our two visits so far, we've sampled succulent asparagus tips, deliciously lemony veal escalope with a mountain of julienne vegetables on the side, fleshy filets de perche (fresh from the lake), a lightly decadent goat's cheese salad and creamy, winey cheese fondue.

Who knows? Maybe they do a dreadful pizza.

Le Léman, Rue de Rive 28, 1260 Nyon
+41 (0)22 361 2241; www.restorive-nyon.ch/le-leman

Off the sauce

There are pros and cons to marathon training. While you tend to get a bit less flabby and feel a marvellous sense of achievement each time you run further than ever before, it tends to entail steering clear of anything that's bad for you.

With the exception of an Easter indulgence (or two), I've been booze-free for nearly four weeks now, despite the best efforts of some to break down my steely resolve. Sitting around at home isn't too bad - just a bit of wine envy watching Monsieur Gourmand tuck into a nice glass of grenache - it's going out that's the killer.

I've found the best solution is to stick to ethnic food, which doesn't really go well with wine anyway. So, fancying an Indian feast one night, we headed to Sultan which we had previously found to be very mediocre.

Seated by the window on faux-wood chairs, sipping our welcome "cocktails" (non-alcoholic, hurrah), Monsieur Gourmand and I decided to avoid curries as we recalled the disappointingly bland saag I had on our last visit.

Instead we chose tangy, tender tandoori chicken and lamb, which arrived still sizzling, and some vegetable sides. Monsieur Gourmand defeated the object of eating vegetables entirely by having them swathed in coconut, pistachio and crème fraîche Korma sauce, while I had Bartha, which are tandoori-grilled aubergines liquidized with green peppers and coriander.

A poppadum here, a bit of naan there and soon enough we were stuffed, pleased to have discovered what Sultan does best. With only green tea to drink, however, now I'm not so sure about my ethnic food and wine theory. 

Sultan, rue de Rive 22,1260 Nyon
+41 (0)22 362 3862; http://www.sultanindian.ch/

Eastern feast

Having spent two and a half years searching in vain for good Asian food that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg in central Geneva, Monsieur Gourmand and I have finally found out the truth – it was in Nyon all along!

Mekong has already become our regular Sunday night haunt, not only because it is ten minutes’ drive from our bucolic abode, but because there is an emphasis on intriguing Vietnamese house specials rather than gloopy MSG-laden, deep-fried spring rolls and sweet and sour mystery meat.

I keep meaning to try something else, but I just can’t tear myself away from the beef with crispy basil leaves (I once tried the prawns with tamarind sauce but it was too sickly, completely overpowering any seafood flavour). The same is true of the starters; the grilled pork dumplings have impressed us time and again with their crispy casings, and we have developed quite a liking for the Vietnamese summer roll stuffed with herby minced meat (even if it does come with slices of spam).

Mekong is cosy and warm for winter nights, with carved wood furniture and water features, and the staff make quite an aesthetic effort (see photo). But now it's warming up, I've got a feeling that many an Eastern feast will be enjoyed in the summer on the big terrace overlooking the lake.

Mekong, Quai des Alpes, 1260 Nyon
+41 (0)22 362 5484

The icing on the cake

Christmas turkey and chipolata sausages. Roast pork and crackling. Strawberries and cream. Sometimes the trimmings are the best bit, which is obviously an idea ascribed to by the owner of Auberge de Dully.

The choice of main course at this cosy village haunt is between chicken and lamb. The plump birds turning on the spit as you enter the dining room (which has a great view by day apparently) certainly look enticing, and ours tasted fine, but chicken is chicken and rarely remains in the memory for long. A big fan of lamb with its tangy flavour and tender texture, I wanted to try that too. Again, it was fine but nothing to write home about.

Lucky then that the uninspiring specialities are backed up by amazingly crispy potato rösti and an enormous, deliciously dressed green salad. The starters are tasty too; we opted for vegetable crudités with home-made dips and a generous helping of juicy stuffed tomatoes.

But the proverbial icing on the cake is undoubtedly the locally revered house dessert: warm shortcrust cream pie. The wafer-thin, pizza-like pie is moreishly milky and so light we almost ordered two. Just steer clear of the whipped cream (unless, for you, that is the best bit).

Auberge de Dully, 9 Place du Village, Dully, Vaud
+44 (0)21 824 1149; www.aubergedully.ch

Full-whack fungi

At the end of 2011, jaded by the bright lights of the scintillating metropolis that is Geneva, Monsieur Gourmand and I decamped to Canton Vaud. While this means a month's worth of form filling and jumping through hoops, higher rent payments and a silly weekday commute, it is balanced out by a breathtaking view (no hyperbole here — we can see Geneva, Lausanne, the lake and Mont Blanc from our living room) and, equally importantly, a fair few village auberges to discover.

Unperturbed by the landlady's straggly hairstyle, we felt we should try our local Auberge de Trélex before any others. What's more, we can walk there so there's no holding back on the wine.

More popular with long-time villagers than international types, the auberge's other diners eyed our city folk suits and suede boots with suspicion as we took in our surroundings. With not an antler, corn dolly or candle in sight, the interior has a charmless train-like quality, the tables arranged along the sides of the room and handy plug sockets in the walls, should you feel like writing an email mid-steak.

We placed our orders with the world-weary waitress, Monsieur Gourmand choosing a deliciously winey fondue with soft brownish bread, while I knew right away that I fancied a fillet steak. Asked if I wanted a sauce, I thought yes, a creamy sauce de morilles would be just lovely. I must admit, the steak was very tender and tasty, and it seemed such good value at only 35 Francs (the grumpy hag had failed to mention the sauce would cost another nine on top).

Convenient it may be and the food is not bad, but the saucy rip-off and less than warm welcome won't keep us coming back.

Auberge de Trélex, Place de la Tour 4, 1270 Trélex, Vaud
+41 (0)22 369 2355; www.aubergedetrelex.ch

Amiable ambience

Tucked away on a cobbled street in the centre of town, Fifty-Fifty is always full (of men mostly), everyone looking jolly and jovial.

Could it be that they do the best pizza in town? Or is it a pizza-serving Swiss equivalent of a masons' lodge? We found the answer to be no on both counts, but it’s definitely worth a visit.

Our friend had what looked like penne with Chantilly cream, but turned about to be a herby, cheesy sauce that melted pleasingly into the pasta. Monsieur Gourmand and I both had pizza, his with Parma ham, buffalo mozzarella and fresh cherry tomatoes, mine with tuna and onions (a flavour I am rediscovering after an extended period of Napoletana-liking).

Mid-meal we were surprised to see the gregarious, gravel-voiced manager put on his coat and disappear through the door for a fag with the only other member of restaurant staff, leaving us and the other few customers to fend for ourselves. This would never happen in a more crime-accustomed country; we could have locked him out, stormed the kitchen and overpowered the pizzaiolo, for goodness' sake.
This must be what makes Fifty-Fifty so perennially popular; it feels more like a club than a restaurant, where newcomers are just as welcome as regulars.

After our tasty mains we shared a dessert. Masquerading as innocent lemon sorbet, it had actually been doused in vodka by the aforementioned man, a fiery finale to warm us for the wintery night outside.

Fifty-Fifty, 7 Rue Neuve du Molard, 1204 Geneva
+44 (0)22 310 2698

One bite in Bangkok

If you thought Enrique Iglesias videos were dramatic, you should see what Thai pop has to offer. The lyrics are a mystery to non-Thai speakers, but somehow amputated legs, bullet wounds and broken hearts seem at odds with the happy-sounding songs.

These cinematic musical masterpieces can be seen at Jame’s Pub in Pâquis, a misleadingly named Thai restaurant-cum-karaoke bar where Thai expats come to sing their hearts out with near-professional aplomb. 

Monsieur Gourmand and I came for the tom yum soup and spicy papaya salad, both of which had been highly recommended by a friend. He wasn’t wrong – both these dishes, as well as the red curry and delicious dumplings, were flavoursome and warming.

Served by a cheeky waitress making innuendos about bananas and beer froth, and cooked by a slinky dress-wearing lady chef, Jame’s Pub is great value, highly unusual and outrageously entertaining.


Jame's Pub, 64 Rue de Monthoux, Pâquis 
022 731 6310