Water waste

As if 56 francs for grilled chicken weren’t ludicrous enough, the staff at Gstaad's Hotel Olden serve some very expensive water. The bottle safely out of sight on a table behind me, little did I know that the waiters were craftily refilling my San Pellegrino until I had polished off a whole bottle and started another.

Despite having drunk only about 30ml of the second bottle, I grudgingly paid for both (at 8 francs each) lest the restaurant’s plastic-faced patrons thought me a pauper.

Blissfully unaware of my costly water consumption, however, I did enjoy my meal of scrumptious Swiss fare.

This being my first foray into the German-speaking part of Switzerland, I ordered sliced veal Zurich style with rösti. It was delicious - tender veal strips smothered in creamy sauce, soaked up by soft shredded potatoes. I was a little put off by the discovery of a hair but, since it looked suspiciously like mine in both length and colour, I thought it best not to cause a commotion.

Not that the elderly couple on the next table would have minded; they couldn’t stop staring at my friend’s enormous veal cutlet Milanese with cherry tomatoes and rocket salad. Nothing kills the appetite like people watching you eat so, although it was certainly tasty, she was soon defeated by the sizeable slab.

Full enough to resist an apple strudel, Zug kirsch cake or even white truffle ice cream with Lavazza, I compromised by ordering peppermint tea with some very tempting petit fours. But apparently they only come with coffee, so the sugary morsels set us back another 8 francs.

I knew lunch in Gstaad would be a fancy affair – after all, high prices are necessary to keep out the commoners – but the Olden takes the biscuit.

Hotel Olden, CH-3780 Gstaad
+41 (0)33 748 4950; www.hotelolden.ch

Queen of tartes

Nestled in the enclave of Plaine Dranse between the ski resorts of Avoriaz and Châtel, Le Vieux Chalet is a warm, woody retreat, stuffed to the gunnels with sprigs of greenery, cowbells, wicker baskets and bears. Not towering taxidermies of fearsome grizzlies, but a collection of teddy bears that fills every cupboard and renders the staircase impassable.

Then there is BaBeth, the chalet’s foxy, fifty-something proprietor. Rumour has it she doesn’t suffer fools, ruthlessly ejecting indecisive skiers torn between tartiflette and fondue. That said, the warm-hearted hostess has also been known to break out the champagne after hearing of a patron's proposal on the piste.

Beware of asking BaBeth about herself; without hesitation she will foist upon you a laminated magazine article detailing the trials and tribulations of her life, before thrusting forth her newly published book, which seems to follow a similar theme. Then comes the photo album, a lengthy catalogue of BaBeth’s snow-filled frolics and provocative poses, before visitors can finally think about food.

The menu of mountain fare complements the alpine interior where tables are tucked away in cosy nooks, scattered with red and green cushions. Washed down with some robust red wine, platters of viandes sechées can be followed by a tasty thin-crust pizza or tartiflette – a hot and hearty Savoyard speciality of potatoes, onions and reblochon cheese.

Le Vieux Chalet is almost as well known for its spectacular tartes as for its extrovert owner and a chunky wedge of the bilberry or Tatin varieties makes for a fruity conclusion to a mountain meal. All that’s left is for BaBeth to draw one of her signature black hearts on your cheek before you hit the slopes… as if you needed anything to remember her by.

Le Vieux Chalet, 74390 Châtel, France
+33 (0)450 73 38 77; www.vieuxchalet.com

Delicious drama

At Little Bay, an unassuming south London restaurant, first-time diners are always astounded when the resident opera singer bursts into song. The décor is similarly dramatic – dark reds and golds evoke London’s traditional theatres – while ladders lead to the most sought-after tables for dress circle devotees.


This was the image I had in mind while walking to L’Opéra Bouffe, an Eaux-Vives eatery named after the burlesque style of entertainment pioneered by Jacques Offenbach in 19th century Paris. The reality was quite different, however: not an opera singer in sight and the food was fabulous.


Our round table reflected the shape of the enormous mirror, which allows wall-facing diners to soak up the surroundings without craning their necks. The dim light of table lamps brings burlesque to mind, while cherubic carvings and a miniature proscenium perched on the bar reinforce the theatrical theme.


For the ‘preludio’, we ordered two plates of flavoursome foie gras with crispy pieces of toast to share. More adventurous eaters might like to sample a slice of black pudding, sweetly balanced by red onion compote and caramelised apples, or perhaps half a dozen oysters.


Slightly baffled by the florid French menu, I ordered something containing polenta, aubergines and duck as my ‘intermezzo’. Monsieur Gourmand went for blanquette de veau comme autrefois - crudely translated as ‘blanket of veal from another time’ - a description that was too intriguing to turn down...

The time-travelling calf creation turned out to be a delicious veal stew, perked up by hearty winter vegetables and lashings of cream. But it was easily trumped by my tagine of piping hot polenta and shredded duck, topped with aubergines and melted cheese. I felt full about half way through but couldn’t bring myself to stop as I savoured each mouthful of my moist, moreish meal.


Alas, this left little room for a final act fanfare of tarte tatin, dark chocolate sorbet or Scottish ice cream with whisky, cream and marinated raisins – sweet sensations that demand a return visit to this vaudevillian neighbourhood haunt.


L’Opéra Bouffe, 5 avenue de Frontenex, 1207 Genève
+41 (0)22 736 6300 www.operabouffe.ch