Tainted tartare

In the days before such continental condiments as vinaigrette and balsamic vinegar graced British plates, lettuce leaves were liberally doused with Heinz salad cream. But it seems we weren’t the only ones with a taste for processed, sickly sauces; the European equivalent is salsa rosa, a vinegary mélange of mayonnaise and ketchup.


One day when lunching in Geneva’s Vieille Ville I ordered a tasty sounding salad of avocado and crevettes, expecting to see four or five juicy-looking crustaceans poking out of the greenery, perhaps perked up by a light lemony dressing. The reality was a bowl of dull iceberg lettuce and a couple of avocado chunks topped off with a dollop of flourescent pink sauce containing a dozen poky prawns.


Maybe this is to be expected in a tourist trap Old Town eatery but I would have expected more from the steak tartare at Les 5 Portes, a well-regarded restaurant in Pâquis. Yes, a good tartare should certainly be tangy from seasoning and perhaps a touch of mustard, but when something tastes so unnaturally sweet and sour from lashings of salsa rosa you start to wonder what the chef is trying to hide.


Thankfully, the steak was redeemed by a side dish of ever-so-slightly undercooked roasted new potatoes, which happens to be just how I like them.


Monsieur Gourmand tried the pumpkin soup to start, which didn’t taste much like pumpkin but was tasty nonetheless, before tucking into a slow-cooked lamb shank. This proved to be a real autumnal treat, the tender meat coming easily away from the bone onto a fluffy bed of polenta surrounded by firm and flavoursome root vegetables.

Huge gold-framed mirrors and a vintage tricycle above the entrance set Les 5 Portes apart from its identikit minimalist rivals while rusty red, burnt orange and sand coloured walls create a warm atmosphere to offset the palatial dimensions. This eclectic style, combined with a crowd-pleasing menu and an alluring list of cocktails, attracts a sophisticated yet unpretentious clientele of cosy couples, gossiping groups of girls and boho arty types.


The staff were friendly, if a little annoying – I had to confirm three times that no, we really hadn’t reserved before the horrified waiter conceded that he did indeed have a free table (quelle surprise) – and the cramped layout isn’t ideal for eating. But these are small imperfections; salsa rosa aside, Les 5 Portes is a lively and sophisticated spot for eating, drinking and socialising in style.


8 Rue de Zurich, 1201 Genève; 022 731 8438
www.lescandale.ch