Truckers' delight

Many mysteries surround Le Petit Moulin, like why the car park is always full, who frequents the adjoining nightclub, and why there might be such an extravagant design feature in an otherwise unremarkable room.
 
What we do know is that the upstairs hotel is popular with truckers who revel in the opportunity to not sleep in their cab for the night and have a nice hot shower (even if the bathroom is shared). Do they venture into the nightclub after a bite to eat, I wonder, and eye up the tartily dressed local girls before brawling with said girls' souped-up hatchback driving boyfriends?

This is always the topic of conversation for me and Monsieur Gourmand when we pay one of our regular visits to this pleasing pizzeria.

You can usually take your pick of tables, whether it's by the window looking at the field of horses, by one of the TVs showing live sport, or under the wild stripy column which forms the centrepiece of the restaurant (and is proudly featured on the website). 

The pizzas (fresh from the woodfire oven, no less) are not bad at all and there is even a premium selection featuring D.O.P. mozzarella, truffles and prosciutto di Parma. Meaty mains include entrecote steak, grilled veal and even game when it's in season, complete with traditional spatzli and chestnuts.

So the food's pretty good, the service is unsnooty (a rarity round here, believe me) and you can park without driving round and round the block for half an hour. The popularity of Le Petit Moulin is not such a mystery after all. 

Le Petit Moulin, Route Blanche, 1274 Grens
+41 (0)22 990 0740; www.lepetitmoulin.ch

 

Young meat

Geneva and Lausanne are only 70km apart, both on the shores of the lake with magnificent mountain views.

But Lausanne's architecture is more Montreux-style Swiss riviera, it's a fair bit hillier and definitely colder. And, unlike Geneva's bankers, diplomats and expat families, Lausanne seems to be largely populated by students and singletons. 

Our most recent visit took us to Happy Days, a warm and woody bar and restaurant famed for its burgers.

The waitress's corseted look should have given us a clue to the nature of this place but we dismissed it as a Halloween costume (far too sexy, you see). But by the end of the night, young long-legged ladies were strutting along the bar to the sound of "You Can Leave Your Hat On", a sight I wouldn't have expected in Suisse Romande.

 

Before all that happened, we had some excellent burgers, which easily outdid any I've had in Geneva (sorry, Road Runner). I can never resist anything with the word "Mexican", so I had one with guacamole and chilli, while the other four all had the American with bacon and cheese. The meat was seasoned and cooked to perfection and served with a choice of salad (no coleslaw here, a real salad with balsamic dressing) or a very generous helping of fries.

Then off we went to a Halloween party where, fittingly for youthful Lausanne, Monsieur Gourmand was the oldest person there.

Happy Days, Rue Saint-Pierre 3, 1003 Lausanne
+41 (0)21 324 0606; www.myhappydays.ch
 

Good imitation

How much would a small diner in the Geneva suburbs have to pay Warner Bros. to use the image of one of their cartoon characters, Monsieur Gourmand and I pondered as we chomped into our tasty burgers at Road Runner. Too much, it would seem, as they have created their very own cartoon bird to sit alongside the red neon logo, which, to an untrained eye, looks just the same.

The same philosophy applies to the food: the first bite reveals a juiciness that could be a real, genuine, American burger. It's flavoursome, it comes in a nice sesame bun, there are gherkins and onions, fries on the side and even coleslaw.

Diners can choose from such tempting options as the Texan (cheese and bacon), Mexican (with chilli and nachos), French (with tomato and herbs) or just keep it simple with cheese. There's no New York style low-carb burger wrapped in a lettuce leaf, but I doubt this would catch on in bread-loving Switzerland where everyone is effortlessly thin despite a diet of cheese and chocolate.

The key difference between the burgers here and those at a Stateside burger joint is the size. Monsieur Gourmand was still peckish after his Texan so ate my remaining fries, while I allowed myself a chocolate Mr Whippee after my delicious but not very filling cheese burger. 

But big doesn't necessarily mean good and this is the best burger I've had in Geneva (apart from L'Armoire which no longer exists) and deserves to have survived 40 years. That's got to be nearly as long as the Road Runner himself?

Road Runner, 63 route de Chene, 1208 Geneve
+41 (0)22 735 6420; www.roadrunner-restaurant.ch

Chinese reserve

Much like the cars outside and the ladies of the night inside, the food at Tse Fung, La Reserve's Chinese restaurant, is exotic, ravishing and expensive.

All that's lacking is a little imagination. The menu sticks to a standard formula with classics including sesame prawn toast and spring rolls, crispy duck with hoi sin sauce, followed by chicken, seafood or beef with cashew, Szechuan and sweet and sour sauces. All are expertly prepared and superbly served by a team of charming staff. 

In pricier places, I like them to show you what they do best so we ordered one of the four degustation menus, all named after appropriately expensive gemstones.

Our Emerald option started with some five spice squid, unfortunately served at the same time as the duck roll and steamed dumplings - at the most chichi Chinese in town I would have expected it to have been a bit more drawn out. None of these starters stick in the memory and I've definitely had better dumplings in Paquis.

Moving on to the mains, we were presented with caramelised beef, chicken in black bean sauce and spicy sole fillets. Of these, the fish was the stand-out dish: delicate and flavoursome without being overpowered by the spice.

Something sweet from the dessert menu - chocolate spring rolls perhaps - would have made a fiendish finale but we were both quite stuffed by this point. Besides, they were generous with the petits fours that came with Monsieur Gourmand's espresso.  

With sumptuous surroundings, lavish service and long-legged clientele, Tse Fung is a favourite for special occasions but disappointingly unextraordinary.

Le Tse Fung, La Rserve, 301 route de Lausanne, 1293 Bellevue
+41 (0)22 959 5959; www.lareserve.ch

Village fare

One of the problems with living abroad is that you discover how insular the British are, always Swiss-bashing (because us Brits are never unfriendly or petty, are we?) and refusing to even try to speak a few words of French.

That said, I must admit to visiting Jim's British Market once in a while for some Twiglets or a Twirl and I may have once bemoaned the lack of houmous and sausages in Swiss supermarkets. And of course it's always nice to discover a place that reminds you of home.

From the warm welcome of the vivacious middle-aged owners to the blackboard menu and country chic interiors, Auberge des Trois Tilleuls could so easily be a Cotswold village pub (now that they're all serving posh nosh of course). The food is very much meaty country fare, with some local lake fish thrown in, occasionally with an exotic flourish of ginger or lime.

I tried the balotine of féra which, once I got past the cylindrical snake-shaped presentation, turned out to be a herby, hearty choice. Monsieur Gourmand went for the slightly over-the-top house speciality - filet de boeuf "canaille" - a sort of tartar sandwich with two steaks as the "bread". It was very rich, to the extent that he couldn't contemplate dessert, but excellent in the extreme.

Whipping along the rainy country roads on our way back home, we again drew the English parallels. But then, between dodging a hedgehog and veering clear of a weasel, we remarked on the 12 francs they charged for a bottle of water. Only in Switzerland...

Auberge des Trois Tilleuls, Place du Village, 1272 Genolier
+41 (0)22 366 0531; www.troistilleuls.ch

Unpleasant moon

The fact that the online reviews of Hong Moon look suspiciously like they've been written by the staff should have told us something.

But we are always on the hunt for good Chinese food and have often wondered whether this restaurant on the ground floor of a grim concrete tower block might be a hidden gem.

Well, it's not. Glutenous dumplings and slimy grey mystery meat that was supposed to be chicken are the overriding memories.

I should say that Monsieur Gourmand did enjoy his Szechuan beef. But, to be fair, he was very hungry. 

It rather reminded me of an equally vile Chinese restaurant, 
Jacky Wei.

Hong Moon, Route de Sauverny 1, 1290 Versoix
+41 (0)22 755 1926

Fishy flirtation

Monsieur Gourmand has a strange relationship with fish. On one hand, he can’t shake the childhood memories of picking tiny bones out of his teeth and peeling flesh off slimy skin, while the mere mention of prawns (bugs of the sea) sends shivers down his spine.

On the other hand, he has always loved octopus and bemoans the fact that he hasn't mastered the art of grilling tender tentacles. Once in a while he even fancies some sashimi salmon or tuna, and he's become quite partial to filets de perche, the local lake fish.

Our recent visit to the balmy terrace of the Auberge de Crassier only enhanced his newfound liking for the lake's bounty. His filets de perche were fresh, unusually large, skinless and served with delicious skinny frites. I went for the other lake fish — filet de féra — which was tangily seasoned with lemon and herbs and served with a bowl of (a bit too salty) basmati rice.

We shared a trio of desserts — profiteroles, crème brulée and vodka-soaked lemon sorbet — and thought about when we might return to this excellent auberge to try the rest of the menu. The bison steak and flambéed brochettes of lamb, chicken or beef all looked amazing, although seared giant prawns might still be a step too far for Monsieur Gourmand.

Auberge de Crassier, Route de la Rippe 6, 1263 Crassier
+41 (0)22 367 1201