Battle of the boeuf

I was recently having one of those conversations about hypothetical choices you would never have to face, like would you rather be submerged in a pool of wee or be forced to eat raw eyeball of sheep? Or my all-time favourite: would you rather lose a leg or be confined to Filton Avenue for the rest of your life, with no chance of ever leaving? Admittedly, the most recent one was a little less ludicrous: if you could only eat one kind of meat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

All have their merits but for most people it would be a difficult dilemma of pork versus beef. Pork has its many fiendish forms - think crackling, sausages and bacon - but, for me, it would have to be beef. I'm not sure I could reconcile myself with the idea of never again enjoying a thick slab of sirloin, a tender fillet or even a juicy burger.

Strangely enough, I haven't cooked a single steak since moving to Geneva. Not because I'm avoiding red meat (as if) but because there are so many good steak restaurants to choose from, including a few that Monsieur Gourmand and I return to again and again.


Aside from nasty exchanges with the snooty clientele - a horrible hag once suggested to us that we *adopt French sneer* "go back to England where you came from" when we dared to ask if a heavily pregnant friend who had just nipped in to say hello could perhaps perch on the empty seat beside her - you can't go wrong at Le Relais de l’Entrecôte. Assuming you like steak, because that's all they've got.

A green salad with tasty French dressing and walnuts readies the palate before the steak is served, smothered in their famous secret sauce: a tangy green, garlicky concoction that induces daily cravings when I walk by. The chips are also amazing, so it's definitely worth the wait (they don't take reservations so go before 19.30 or after 21.30 to avoid the queue).

Le Relais de l’Entrecôte, 49 rue du Rhône, 1204 Geneva
+41 (0)22 310 6004; relaisentrecote.fr


If you can’t be bothered to wait there’s always Carnivor around the corner. It doesn’t have Entrecôte’s atmosphere (or sauce) but it’s an excellent alternative for meat eaters with substantial steaks and an inviting alternative: rôtisserie coquelet. Be sure to sit in the conservatory area – you can watch the snow falling in winter and it’s opened up in the summer.

Carnivor, 11 rue Neuve du Molard, 1204 Geneva
+41 (0)22 310 0928; carnivor.ch


My stepfather claims to have “discovered” Les Armures when he and my mother were visiting and I hadn’t booked anywhere to eat. Wary of its Old Town tourist-trap location, I didn’t have much hope for the meal ahead, but if it was good enough for Bill Clinton (a picture of the ex-President eating in this very restaurant is prominently displayed at the entrance) surely it would be good enough for me.

The overwhelming whiff of cheese seems to suggest that Les Armures does fondue first and foremost, but this belies the restaurant’s mastery of meat; the steak I ate on our last visit was so fresh and rare that it actually smelled of cow (in a good way).

Les Armures, 1 rue Puits-St-Pierre, 1204 Geneva
+41 (0)22 310 3442; hotel-les-armures.ch